


Lest I Love You

by lady_moevot



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Golden swan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-11-03 12:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_moevot/pseuds/lady_moevot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Storybrooke, Emma finds herself in a compromising position and her relationship with Mr. Gold is tested; in Fairytale Land, after the curse is broken, Emma tries to keep her family together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will be going back and forth between present day in Storybrooke and Fairytale Land after the curse is lifted. This is a Golden Swan story, and I will be focusing solely on their relationship for now. Some of the archive warnings might be added as I go along; I'll have to see how the story unfolds. There shall be sex and plenty of angst.

The bell in Gold’s pawnshop twinkled as Emma pushed the door open and trudged inside. Blinking, she looked around the dimly lit space for the owner, Mr. Gold. She couldn’t see him, but could hear some shuffling coming from the back room. Sighing heavily, Emma crossed the room in a few long strides and poked her head into Gold’s office.

“Hey,” she started casually. “Can we talk?”

“Oh, Emma, dear,” Mr. Gold’s voice was like silk caressing skin as he turned to face her. “Of course.”

Emma entered the room cautiously; she had little reason to be afraid, and yet she felt terrified. She stopped just short of the desk and watched as Mr. Gold came toward her, smiling warmly. Stopping in front of her, he put a hand on her hip and cradled her cheek in the other.

”What is it, Emma?” The way his lips curved around her name made her heart leap. She lowered her eyes, watching her fingers trace nonsensical patterns on his tie.

”I’m pregnant,” Emma stated bluntly before she could lose her nerve. She dared to lift her eyes to his, just in time to see his smile falter then leave his face entirely.

”I-what?” His eyes searched hers, asking questions she didn’t care to answer. “How?”

”I think you’re a bit old to be needing the sex talk,” Emma snapped before she could stop herself. She bit her lip and looked away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, not meeting his gaze.

”Well, I know how,” Mr. Gold struggled to find the right words as a hundred thoughts swirled in his mind. “I just… We’ve been safe!”

Emma winced when Mr. Gold’s voice raised slightly, feeling guilty for some reason she couldn’t identify.”Well, I don’t know! Condoms aren’t 100% effective all the time, maybe—” she heard her voice break and stopped, trying her best to fight back the tears that threatened to fall as she looked back at Mr. Gold. “I’m sorry.”

Mr. Gold took a deep, calming breath and tried to bring another warm smile to his features to comfort Emma. ”No, I’m sorry,” he said softly, moving his hand from her hip to her face to cup her other cheek in his palm. “I shouldn’t’ve reacted like that. I’m just… Shocked.” He have her what he hoped was a reassuring smile before brushing her hair behind her ear.

”Imagine how I feel,” Emma mumbled, her lip trembling.

”You’re right. You must be feeling a lot more than shock,” Mr. Gold murmured as he pressed his lips to Emma’s forehead. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her body against his gently, as if to be careful of the fetus growing inside her. “How far along are you, do you know?”

”I’m not sure. I’m almost three weeks late,” Emma replied, shaking her head as she trained her eyes down. “I need to get a doctor, but I just can’t bear the thought of Dr. Whale handling my pregnancy. Actually, I can’t bear the thought of him period.” Emma’s normally angelic face had scrunched into a look of utter disgust mixed with a faint hint of contempt.

Upon seeing her expression, Mr. Gold couldn’t help but laugh.

”What part of this is amusing to you, pray tell?” Emma mumbled, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

”Nothing, Emma, dear,” Mr. Gold assured her with a small chuckle.

“I just find myself sharing your displeasure at the thought of involving Dr. Whale.” Mr. Gold sighed and loosened his hold on Emma, leaning back slightly to get a better look at her. ”But this town being what it is, people are going to find out. If they aren’t already whispering, they will be,” Mr. Gold ran a hand through his hair, looking around wearily. “I suppose we should discuss this further. Why don’t you com over later? We can order out, whatever you want.”

Emma nodded slowly, only half hearing him. A thousand thoughts were running through her head, none of them moving slow enough for her to grasp on to. Mr. Gold took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, lifting her head and forcing her to meet his gaze. His dark, brown eyes bore into hers as he lowered his mouth to her lips, kissing her gently. He pulled her into another tight hug, his fingers running through her hair. Emma broke the kiss and laid her head on his shoulder, nuzzling his neck.

”I should go,” she mumbled.

”Alright, dearie,” Mr. Gold kissed Emma’s temple. “Why don’t you come over around 8?”

 

————

Back at the apartment she shared with Mary Margaret, Emma paced the floor of the living room. She was waiting for the school teacher to return so she could tell her the news. The front door opened, stopping Emma in her tracks. She watched, her stance somewhat awkward, as Mary Margaret bustled into the kitchen without seeing her.

”Mary?” The sound of Emma’s voice seemed to have snapped Mary Margaret out of a daze, and she jumped a half foot in the air.

”Emma! H-hi! Shouldn’t you be at the station? Is everything alright?” Mary Margaret’s words came tumbling out in a nervous rush.

”Actually, no. Can we talk?” Emma nodded to the couch; the teacher sat, looking around expectantly, while Emma remained standing.

”What is it? Does this have something to do with,” Mary paused, glancing about anxiously, as if expecting the man himself to be looming in a corner somewhere. “Him?”

Mary Margaret had not been thrilled when Emma had told her about her developing relationship with Mr. Gold, but had supported her nonetheless. However, she was still deeply intimidated by the man and still made a point of scrambling out of the room whenever he came to call. While she seemed to be warming to the idea of their growing relationship, Emma couldn’t help but be worried about how Mary Margaret would take the news of Emma being pregnant with his child.

”Well, um, sort of. I guess so, yes. He was certainly involved,” Emma mumbled the last bit, almost to herself. Catching the puzzled look on Mary’s face, she sighed, “I’m pregnant.”


	2. Chapter 2

     When the curse had been broken, Emma had found herself in a new, yet somehow familiar, world. Her pregnancy was close to the end; it wouldn’t be long before she’d be welcoming her son or daughter to this strange and enchanting world. Even though she was finally back where she belonged and with her parents, there was still a minor problem.  
     She’d visited with him after much pleading with Snow and Charming; they were worried about their daughter being anywhere near the dark, dangerous creature. His appearance had startled her at first, but she wasn’t put off by him. After the initial shock wore off, she’d found she was oddly comfortable with his greenish skin, flecks of gold, and large, strange eyes.

 

————

 

     ”So, you’re the one everyone’s so afraid of,” Emma murmured when she found her voice. Her eyes drank in his features, his clothes, his thin frame. “You’re the one who did this to me.”  
     Emma motioned absentmindedly to her stomach; the simple, green dress she wore stretched snugly over her expanded belly.  
     The creature before her let out a high pitched giggle, coming to stand close to the bars and peering out at Emma with unabashed curiosity and adoration.  
     ”Yes, dearie. In a way, it was I,” he breathed, hand snaking out to pet the rounded belly. “Oooh, my my, getting close, aren’t we, dearie? Tell me, however did you manage to convince your parents to let you visit me?”  
     ”I reminded them that I am an adult and I’m free to do as I choose,” Emma grinned at the memory of her parents’ faces when she reminded them of the next bit, “And that you are, in fact, the father.”  
     The imp let out a delighted sort of sound and pressed his hand flat against Emma’s stomach.  
     ”And do your parents approve?”  
     ”No,” Emma whispered, saddened that her parents had seemed disgusted more than anything. “But they have decided to free you-” at this, the imp sucked in a breath, “under a few conditions.”  
     Rumpelstiltskin snatched his hand from her belly looking vaguely annoyed. “What conditions?”  
     ”First, you are to stay with us at our castle, at least until after the baby is born,” she paused, waiting to see if he would accept the first condition. When he nodded his agreement, she continued. “Second, you will take care of me and our children, else be thrown back in here-” Rumpelstiltskin growled at the threat, but nodded for her to continue, “And lastly, you will be stripped of the binding spell if you promise to let Cinderella keep her baby.”  
     At the mention of Cinderella, Rumpelstiltskin grasped the bars tightly and issued a snarl.  
     ”She owes me,” he said, voice low and dripping with menace.  
     ”Gold- er, Rumpelstiltskin, please; this is the only way they’ll agree to let you out. Please. I don’t want to do this alone,” Emma pleaded frantically, gesturing to her stomach.  
     ”Fine,” he gave in after a moment of thought. “When do I get out of here?”  
     ”I’ll tell my father you’ve agreed to the conditions and he’ll come for you in the morning,” Emma said with a smile.

————

 

     Emma awoke early the next morning to see her father off; as she stood next to his horse, she wagged a finger at him.  
     ”Don’t be mean to him, alright? I don’t care about the past; we’re all here and happy, so let’s try to move on,” she said, giving Charming a stern look that mirrored one of his own.  
     ”I promise, Emma,” Prince Charming said with a sigh.   
     After her father was out of sight, Emma went back into the castle to wake up Henry and eat breakfast. The wait wouldn’t be a terribly long one, and that did nothing to help with Emma’s nerves.  
     Emma was in her room resting when the doors to her chambers opened. She watched with baited breath as her father, mother, and two guards walked into the room, followed by Rumpelstiltskin. The guards took up their posts on either side of the door while Snow White and Prince Charming walked closer. Rumpelstiltskin hung back briefly, eyeing Emma before taking a few cautious steps forward. Standing awkwardly next to her parents, he bowed in a graceful manner before stepping closer, away from Snow and Charming.  
     ”Emma,” he whispered, his eyes widening slightly. Emma made to stand, but he held up a long-fingered hand to stop her. “Rest, dearie,” he murmured.  
     He sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving hers. Emma felt a lump form in her throat, but wrote off the emotion as a side effect of the pregnancy. Still, she reached out for him and was surprised when his hand took hers.  
     ”I’d like to have him to myself for a while, if you don’t mind,” Emma managed to choke out to her parents.  
     Snow made to protest but stopped; Emma wondered if her mother had been about to warn her of the dangers of having sex this late in the pregnancy. Instead, Snow White bit her lip and met her husband’s eyes. Prince Charming nodded and they turned to leave.  
     ”Take the guards with you,” Emma called.  
     Once they were alone, Emma scooted over in the bed, making room for Rumpelstiltskin. With a snap of his fingers, his tight leather pants, silk shirt, and fitted vest were gone; he stood beside the bed in a plain men’s chemise and loose trousers. Pulling back the covers, he slid into the bed; grabbing Emma gently around the waist, he pulled her closer to him. Emma curled toward him, her arm across his chest. Breathing deeply, she soon fell asleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for me to update. I've had a severe lack of motivation recently, but here is chapter 3. It's a bit longer and there is some smut. I'm working on chapter 4 already and hope to have it up this coming week. Thank you for reading.

"What?" Mary Margaret's normally calm voice took on a shrill quality as it raised two octaves in the span of that single word.

Emma flinched and raised her hands in a defensive gesture.

"Yeah, it's still settling in with me, so can you please just... Not judge me right now?" Her tone was flustered but her eyes were pleading.

"I'm sorry," Mary Margaret replied breathlessly. "It's such big news. I-oh, Emma, I'm sorry. I'm very excited for you, really. That's just... Not at all what I was expecting."

Emma let out a sigh. "Trust me, I know," she mumbled to herself.

Mary Margaret patted the seat next to her and Emma defeatedly slumped down beside her. Mary wrapped her arms around Emma and pulled her close. As she rested her chin on Emma's head, Mary Margaret wondered vaguely where this sudden sense of maternity was coming from.

"So, have you told him yet?" Mary ventured carefully.

"Yeah, I stopped by his pawnshop earlier."

"And? How'd he take it?"

"Much like you did, actually. Very shocked," Emma's voice was wistful and Mary Margaret drew her closer. "He wants me to come over later, so we can talk."

"Well, that's good! Isn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm just not sure how he'll react when I tell him I don't want it."

 

————

 

Emma arrived, on the dot, at Mr. Gold's large estate with a feeling of fear mixed with nausea in the pit of her stomach. She climbed the stairs slowly, each step falling like lead, and rang the door bell. A heavy sigh was quickly masked with a smile and a warm "hello" as Mr. Gold opened the door.

"Emma, dear, how are you feeling?" Nothing about Mr. Gold's calm demeanor betrayed his thoughts, but the look in his eyes showed his sincerity. 

"I'm fine," Emma lied, hoping it sounded more convincing to him than it did to her.

Mr. Gold's lip twitched ever so slightly, a bare hint of a smirk as he looked her over before standing aside and ushering her into his house. She let herself be led to the parlor, where a fire had been lit and was crackling soothingly in the grate. 

"Please, sit," Mr. Gold gestured gracefully to a plush sofa, a small grin playing on his lips. "Would you like some tea, dearie? Or perhaps some hot cocoa?"

"Hot cocoa, please," Emma replied quietly, looking around the room without really taking it in. "Extra cinnamon."

"Of course, dear," Mr. Gold exited the room, leaving Emma to gaze blankly at her surroundings. 

As she waited, Emma became increasingly nervous and fidgety. She found herself staring into the fire, becoming lost in thought until the thoughts seemed to disappear entirely. Emma was so far gone that she didn't hear Gold return, jumping when he appeared next to her with a mug of cocoa. Emma took the mug and took a drink, ignoring the burn of the fiery liquid in her mouth and throat.

"Is something wrong?" Mr. Gold asked as he seated himself beside Emma.

"You mean apart from me being pregnant?" Emma replied before she could stop herself, her tone slightly cold.

She looked down at the mug in her hands, sighing heavily before setting the mug down on the coffee table and turning to face Mr. Gold. Emma opened her mouth, but no words came out, so she closed it again. The longer she tried to hold Mr. Gold's gaze, the more she wanted to cry. She could feel her face growing red, her throat tight with the effort of holding back tears. Mr. Gold reached out and took her hands in his.

"Emma, is there something you'd like to tell me?" The cool, collected demeanor was gone, replaced by a look of concern and a nervous tint to his voice.

"I-I don't want to be pregnant!" Emma practically screamed, her emotions finally getting the best of her. "I can hardly keep my life together as it is! I feel like I've already failed Henry, I don't want to screw up another kid."

Emma wrenched her hands from Gold and turned away from him, covering her face in shame and embarrassment as the first of the tears began to fall.

"Emma... Emma, love," Mr. Gold sounded worried now as he put his hand on her shoulder.

Shifting closer on the sofa, Mr. Gold wrapped his arms around Emma and pulled her back against his chest. As she continued to sob, he stroked her long, golden hair and muttered reassurrances to her.

"Emma, please, stop crying," he murmured into her ear, rubbing her back and pushing her hair out of her face. "Listen to me. You haven't failed Henry. Henry adores you and it means everything to him that you decided to stay. He understands and he know that you're trying."

Emma let out a sarcastic laugh and shook her head.

"No, Emma, I mean it," Mr. Gold pressed on in a stern tone. "And I know you're scared. I am, too. But this is a second chance to do it right. For both of us."

Emma looked up at him then, her face and eyes a bright red. 

"What do you mean, 'both of us?'" she asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion through the last of her tears.

"I had a son once, but I messed up. I lost him," Mr. Gold replied quietly, his eyes downcast. "I'd really like to have another go at it, but only if you want to, of course."

Emma sat in silence for a moment, looking back into the fire.

"I'll need to sleep on it," she said finally. "Would you mind if I stayed here tonight?"

"Not at all," Mr. Gold replied with a small smile, even though his eyes were still distant. "How about I order us something?"

"Cheese pizza sounds good right now," Emma said, picking up her mug and taking a long drink from it.

 

————

 

As Emma lay beside Mr. Gold in his large bed, curled up next to him under the silk sheets and comforter, her thoughts still swirled in her mind, harassing her. Deciding she needed a distraction, Emma pressed a kiss to Mr. Gold's neck; when he looked over at her, expression puzzled, her lips met his almost harshly. She deepened the kiss, suddenly overcome with the desperate need to forget.

Mr. Gold seemed to think it best to let Emma have her way with him; he didn't stop her hand from traveling to his manhood and stroking him. He didn't object when she pulled off her clothes and then went to work on his. He didn't protest as she straddled him and lowered herself down his hardened length. Instead, he thrust into her with a ferocity to match her need.

As Emma rode Mr. Gold, she began to grow frustrated — with her pregnancy, with his cool demeanor, with his stupid, all-knowing smirk, with him. She rolled her hips and bucked harder, lifting off of him only to slam back down. She didn't care about her own pleasure anymore; she just wanted to hurt him. 

Without thinking, Emma lashed out — she struck Mr. Gold across the face. She was pleased to see the look of confusion and hurt on his face, but when he did nothing to defend himself, it only served to make her angry. Emma struck him again, hard. She hit and slapped at his face and chest for all the times he'd tricked or manipulated her since her arrival in Storybrooke; for all the times he'd looked at her with that stupid smirk on his face or licked his lips while giving her the once-over. All the while, she rode his cock, lifting herself up and down his shaft.

Emma raised her hand to strike him once more and was surprised when Mr. Gold caught the blow before she could land it. With a snarl, he gripped her wrist until it hurt, twisting her arm behind her back. He pushed her off and positioned himself above her, her arm still twisted behind her. Emma was temporarily stunned, but recovered quickly, bucking against Mr. Gold and pushing at him with her free hand. He grabbed her other wrist and pinned it down above her head before leaning forward and sinking his teeth into her neck. Emma cried out in shock and pain, straining to break free and failing. She pulled and pushed, twisted and squirmed, but Mr. Gold kept his hold on her.

A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as Mr. Gold, satisfied that Emma was restrained, pushed the head of his cock into her entrance. Emma gasped, her eyes slipping down to watch as he penetrated her fully. She moaned despite herself and pressed her body against his. Mr. Gold pulled back only to push forward again and again, never letting go of his grip on Emma's wrists. Emma wrapped her leg around his waist and rolled her hips against his thrusts.

Emma had barely acknowledged the heat that had been pooling deep in her stomach when she felt herself coming undone. Mr. Gold continued to thrust while she rode the orgasm, her body tense, before giving a muffled groan as he filled her with his cum. Emma lay there, shaking, as Mr. Gold withdrew from her and laid down next to her. He put his arm around her and pulled her close; tears filled her eyes and spilled over. Mr. Gold pulled the covers over them both and held her tight as she wept.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very sorry it's taken so long for me to update. This chapter gave me some trouble, but I hope it was worth the wait. Now that I've got a clearer idea of what's going to happen, I hope to start putting out chapters sooner and closer in between.

            Emma woke with a start late in the night. She looked around, her mind clouded with sleep. For a short moment, she didn’t know where she was.

            As her memories came back to her, she looked down at the bed beside her. The moonlight shone off Rumpelstiltskin’s green-gold skin, entrancing Emma and making her stare. Just then, she felt the baby shift inside her. Emma placed a hand on her rounded stomach and watched Rumpelstiltskin’s chest rise and fall with each breath.

 

            Exhaling through her nose, Emma lifted herself off the bed as carefully as she could. Pulling on her silk robe, she crept over to the open doors leading to the balcony. Looking out over the lake at night when she couldn’t sleep had become a habit of Emma’s. The pale light cast by the moon sparkling off the softly rippling water and a nice breeze helped to soothe her. Emma let out a small sigh as she allowed herself to be taken in and calmed by the tranquil setting.

            “Beautiful at night, isn’t it?” The voice behind her made Emma jump. Rumpelstiltskin moved out of the shadows and came to stand next to her. He put one hand on the small of her back and the other on her belly. “You every bit fit the part of princess, dearie.”

            “It still doesn’t feel real,” Emma ventured, her hand moving to touch his. “Everything. I feel like I’m standing in a painting or a movie.”

            “I imagine it will take some getting used to,” Rumpelstiltskin stepped behind her, enveloping Emma in his arms. “But I think you will be very happy here. After all, this is your fairy tale, and your happy ending is long overdue.”

            Emma laughed and half turned to look at Rumpelstiltskin in the moonlight. He looked aglow, the gold flecks in his skin giving an eerie, magical quality to his appearance. His large eyes watched her intently as she stared back at him.

            “Let’s go back to bed,” she said after a long moment.

            Emma laced her fingers through Rumpelstiltskin’s and led him back into the bedchamber. They parted at the foot of the bed, Emma slipping off her robe and tossing it over the arm of a nearby chair. After climbing gingerly into bed, she pulled Rumpelstiltskin closer and laid her head on his chest.

 

— — — —

 

Rays of sunlight seemed to blind her even before Emma had opened her eyes. Blinking rapidly, she lifted herself upright and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Once she could see without trying to focus through a haze, Emma looked down to her bed partner – only to find the bed beside her empty.

            A panic fell over Emma as she hastily got out of bed and pulled on her robe. She crossed the large room as fast as her swollen belly would allow and peered out into the corridor. There was no sign of anyone, so Emma slipped through the door and made her way to Henry’s chamber down the hall.

            Opening the door a crack, Emma listened for a moment. She could hear Henry inside, talking to someone enthusiastically. Easing the door open a bit wider, she poked her head inside and found Henry sitting in the far corner of the room. Rumpelstiltskin sat in a chair nearby, patiently answering Henry’s questions and grinning. His smile grew when he saw Emma and he beckoned her into the room.

            “I see you’ve wasted no time in getting reacquainted,” Emma observed as she crossed the room to stand next to Rumpelstiltskin. He immediately hopped up to offer her his seat, which she gratefully accepted and, with Rumpelstiltskin’s help, eased herself down.

            “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before!” Henry practically yelled, looking at Emma, then Rumpelstiltskin, and back again. “Of course Mr. Gold is Rumpelstiltskin!”

            Emma pushed a smile to her face, her eyes darting to the imp standing next to her. She remembered vividly how shocked she felt when Regina had revealed who Mr. Gold really was, but for some reason had never given much thought to what that might actually mean. Emma also recalled with equal clarity how Henry reacted to his true parentage upon their return to Fairytale Land.

 

— — — —

 

            “Emma!”

            Henry’s voice cut through the darkness surrounding Emma as she struggled to collect her thoughts. She felt oddly numb and her head was throbbing. Forcing her eyes open, Emma was met with a bright light, causing her to squint.

            Slowly, Emma could make out more and more of her surroundings, catching glimpses of green and blue and white. She regained the feeling in her arms and legs, which were stiff and heavy, as if from lack of use.

            Emma pulled herself up and looked around. She was in a clearing, the forest around her more dense than the one in Storybrooke.

            “Emma!” Henry’s panicked voice echoed like a gunshot, Emma snapping out of her daze to look at the boy, only for her eyes to widen in horror.

            Henry’s skin was a deep green, his eyes large and snake-like. Flecks of gold shone in his skin, glittering as he reached for Emma, who recoiled in fear and confusion.

            “What happened, Henry?” she managed to choke out.

            “I’m not sure, but I think you lied about who my dad is,” he replied, lips drawing back over his teeth in a leer.

            Emma felt her stomach drop and her mouth water; ducking forward, she vomited onto the grass.

 

— — — —

 

            Emma snapped out of her daydream at the gentle nudge on her shoulder.

            “I said, shall we go down for an awkward family breakfast?” Rumpelstiltskin giggled, his hand waving in a flourishing movement, gesturing toward the door.

            “Oh… Yes, I guess we should,” Emma said, rising slowly from her chair.

            Henry chattered excitedly between them all the way to the dining hall, asking questions and even comparing skin tones with the imp. Emma noted with a smile that, for being the most feared creature in allFairy Land, Rumpelstiltskin was incredibly patient with children.

            Snow and Charming were already sitting at the long table talking quietly amongst themselves when the three of them entered. Emma didn’t catch any of the words before they fell silent, but given the look on Snow’s face, guessed that they had been arguing.

            “Good morning,” Charming greeted them, standing until they had taken their seats.

            “How are you feeling?” Snow asked Emma, a worried smile on her face.

            “I’m fine. Didn’t sleep very well, though,” Emma said without thinking, immediately regretting it as her mother arched an eyebrow and her father coughed.

            “You know, it’s very important for you to get plenty of sleep so late in your pregnancy,” Snow stated, eyes shifting nervously toward Rumpelstiltskin.

            “Yeah, I’ll probably take a nice, long nap later. But right now, I want a huge bowl of oatmeal,” Emma said, pulling a large, silver pot closer and shoveling the thick substance into a bowl.

            Several minutes passed in silence, Emma avoiding the curious glances Snow kept fixing her with, Charming staring at his plate of eggs and ham. Henry made the first venture into conversation.

            “So, are you two going to get married?” he asked Emma, causing her to choke on her cocoa.

            “What?” she sputtered between coughs. “Um, no. I don’t know.”

            She met Rumpelstiltskin’s eyes first, then Snow’s. Only Rumpelstiltskin seemed to be amused by the question.

            “Why do you ask, Henry?” said Charming, smiling at his grandson.

            “Well, he’s my dad, and now they’re having another baby, so I just figured that came next,” Henry replied with a shrug of his shoulders, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

            “Well, dearie, I think there will be plenty of time to think about those things later, hmm?” Rumpelstiltskin spoke up finally, giving him a nod and a hesitant smile.

            “Yes,” Charming said, clearing his throat and drawing Henry’s attention away from his father. “Much later.”

            The rest of breakfast was passed in awkward silence, the only sounds coming from utensils scraping against plates.

            Emma excused herself as soon as she had finished her second helping, rising slowly from her chair with the help of Rumpelstiltskin, who nearly knocked over his own chair in rushing to her side. He walked her back to their bedchamber, mouth opening on several occasions to strike up a conversation and closing again when no topic came to mind.

            Once they were completely alone inside the privacy of Emma’s chambers, Emma moved across to her balcony as quickly as her sore feet and ankles would carry her. Rumpelstiltskin watched her closely, large, golden eyes narrowing when he saw her shoulders shake.

            “Dearie?” he called lightly, taking a few cautious steps forward.

            A sob threatened to bubble out of Emma’s throat. Maybe it was all the hormones, but she suddenly felt more overwhelmed than she had when she found out she was pregnant. Squeezing her eyes closed, Emma saw an image of the pawnbroker she’d met in Storybrooke. The man in the trim, well-fitting suit was a far cry from the leather and reptile skin-clad imp behind her. She could still hear his calm Scottish-accented voice whispering to her as hands wrapped around her expanded middle. For a fleeting moment, Emma felt like she was back in Storybrooke, in the back of Mr. Gold’s pawnshop; then she opened her eyes and reality settled back in around her, along with fresh panic.

            “What are we doing?” the whispered question sounded distant and foreign to Emma’s ears.

            “Mmm, dancing?” Rumpelstiltskin replied, voice too close. He pressed his hands to Emma’s hips and swayed her side to side. A smile tugged at the corners of Emma’s mouth as he took one of her hands in his and spun her around slowly. Rumpelstiltskin pulled Emma closer and began to guide her through a waltz. They moved around the room, Emma’s movements clumsy and slow. Rumpelstiltskin twirled her around as fast as he dared, watching her intently.

            As the dancing slowed, Emma rested her head on his shoulder, suppressing a sigh.


	5. Chapter 5

     Emma awoke the next morning to find the room still dark and Mr. Gold still asleep. She glanced over to his bedside locker; the alarm clock announced the time, 6:28 AM, in glaring red. Slipping quietly from the bed, Emma pulled on her clothes from the night before and crept from the room. Once she'd located her shoes, badge, and gun, Emma left Mr. Gold's and made her way back home to shower.  
     Mary Margaret was bustling about, toothbrush in hand, her comb stuck in her hair. She was still without a top, standing in the kitchen in her lacy, pink bra; Emma cleared her throat and Mary Margaret spun around, covering herself with her arms in the process.  
     "Emma!" Mary exclaimed around the toothpaste in her mouth before spitting it into the sink. "How'd it go?"  
     Emma shrugged, climbing onto a barstool and sighing. Mary Margaret watched her with a puzzled expression, but waited for Emma to elaborate.  
     "I told him I needed to sleep on it," Emma said, looking down at the counter as she bit her lip.   
     "Is there something else?" Mary Margaret asked softly.  
     "I screwed him and slapped him around a bit," Emma replied after a moment.  
     "Oh. Well... Did you talk to him this morning before you left?"  
     "No. I left before he woke up. I don't know what to say to him. 'Sorry I roughed up your face. By the way, I want an abortion.'" Emma sighed again.   
     The silence that followed caused Emma to look up from the counter at Mary Margaret, whose round face was still, expectant.  
     "Is that what you want?" she asked delicately.  
     Emma considered it for a long moment; did she want an abortion? She thought about how she'd felt being pregnant with Henry, the sleepless nights she spent trying not to grow attached, knowing she couldn't possibly raise the baby. That determination faltered when she met him, though; that tiny, pink baby with wisps of brown hair.   
     It wasn't like she didn't like Gold; he was a good man when you got to know him and he made her happy. More than that, he seemed to genuinely care for her. But did she really want a kid with him?   
     "I don't know, Mary," Emma whispered, her eyes suddenly moist.  
     Mary Margaret walked around the island to where Emma sat, putting her toothbrush down and wrapping her arms around her roommate. She pressed her cheek against the top of Emma's head and rubbed her back.  
     "Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you."  
     "Thanks," Emma said, looping her arms around Mary Margaret's waist.  
     When Mary Margaret broke the hug, Emma straightened and sighed. "I guess I should see a doctor before I decide anything."

\----

     Emma was sitting alone in the examination room, waiting for Dr. Whale to come back and either confirm or deny her pregnancy. She sat on the paper covered table, staring at the white walls. Emma hated waiting in doctors' offices; everything was so plain and depressing. Just as she was contemplating what to get for lunch, the door opened and in walked Dr. Whale. He smiled warmly at her and consulted the paperwork attached to his clipboard.  
     "Good news, Ms. Swan. You are indeed pregnant."  
     "How far along am I?" Emma asked, biting her lip.  
     "You are five weeks tomorrow," Dr. Whale answered, grinning stupidly at her. "We'll need to get you set up with prenatal vitamins, and schedule a check up." He scribbled something near the bottom of the clipboard and detached a slip of paper. "You'll need to get that filled right away. How does next Friday at 1 sound?"  
     Emma took the slip that Whale handed her, folding it up without reading it. "That's fine."  
     "Great, and will the father be joining you for the ultrasound?" Dr. Whale asked; Emma couldn't tell if he was being nosy or just polite.  
     "Maybe," she answered defensively.  
     "Do you have any questions?" Whale asked, looking a bit like a curious puppy with his eyebrow raised.  
     "Yeah, um... Does this hospital offer abortions?"

\----

     After her trip to the hospital, Emma decided to go visit Gold again. Walking up to the door of his shop felt like walking toward her execution. The bell above the door chimed she entered, announcing her presence. Gold looked up from the antique lamp he was polishing, his expression wary upon seeing Emma.  
     "Hello, Emma," he greeted her in a guarded tone. "Were you able to see a doctor?"  
     "Yeah, I did," Emma said, walking a bit closer. She kept her eyes lowered, shame keeping her from meeting his eyes.  
     "And?"  
     "Definitely pregnant," she confirmed, fiddling with the baby mobile that hung from the ceiling.  
     "Is this good news, or bad?" he asked, continuing to clean the lamp.  
     "I'm not sure," Emma said, voice barely above a whisper. She crossed to the counter where Gold stood, placed her hand on his. "I'm sorry about last night. And for skipping out this morning."  
     Mr. Gold sighed and put down the rag he'd been using, looking up at Emma. "The abuse, I can forgive. This time, at least. But we are adults in a relationship, Emma, and I'll not be made to feel used." The scorn in his voice made Emma cringe. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I just didn't know how to face you, and I really didn't know what to tell you about what I wanted to do about the pregnancy."  
     "Is that to say you've made a decision?" Gold asked, an edge of hopefulness in his voice.   
     "Yeah," Emma cleared her throat and met Gold's eyes. "I want an abortion."  
     Taking back his hand, Gold lowered his eyes. "It's your choice, if that's what you think is best."  
     Emma groaned with guilt, hiding her face in her hands and propping her elbows on the counter. "I'm sorry." The apology was muffled, but it hung in the air for several minutes.  
     Gold said nothing for several minutes, still trying to process her decision. "Would you like me to go with you?"  
     Emma raised her head, surprised at his willingness to support her. "I, um... Yeah, that'd be good," she agreed. "But they may make you wait outside in the lobby." She smiled suddenly, causing Gold to raise his eyebrow at her in suspicion.  
     "What?" he asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.  
     "Whale's face when I asked if they did the procedure. Looked like I'd strangled his puppy."  
     Gold smirked at Emma half-heartedly, then licked his lips. He picked up the rag and finished polishing the lamp, avoiding Emma's eyes.  
     She swallowed when Gold didn't say anything, tapping lightly on the counter.  
     "Look, Gold, I just... Can't," Emma said, exhaling sharply. "It's nothing to do with you, I really like you, I just don't think I can go through it all again."  
     "You don't have to explain yourself to me, dearie," Mr. Gold replied dismissively.  
     Emma was silent for a while, watching Gold put away the lamp and take an unnecessary amount of time to find another item to clean. He was upset, and while she understood that, she couldn't help but be pissed that he was acting a bit childish.  
     "I have an ultrasound appointment next Friday at 1 if you'd like to go," she informed him in a flat tone before turning on her heel and leaving.


End file.
